A Grief That Can't Be Spoken
by Marie19930
Summary: Ozai dies while in prison and Zuko has no desire to attend his own father's funeral. He starts to have feelings he doesn't understand about his father's death. Katara helps him. Oneshot.


Katara wondered around the Fire Nation palace searching for Zuko. It was a terrible day for all of them. Zuko's father had died in prison and the funeral was going to be that afternoon. It had been years since Aang had taken away Ozai's bending and afterwards the past Fire Lord's health had started to deteriorate inside the prison. Katara was now in her twenties and had married Aang recently. They had received the bad news about a month after their marriage and Zuko had wished to have his friends come to the Fire Nation for support.

She finally found the door to his bedroom and politely knocked rather than coming in without notice. Katara heard a faint voice tell her to come in and realized it belonged to a female rather than Zuko. Katara opened the door and saw one of the maids setting a tray of food besides the Fire Lord. Zuko relieved the maid and motioned Katara to come in. She noticed he looked paler than usual and there were dark circles underneath his eyes. He was dressed to go out in public, but he still was sitting on his bed. Katara was dressed in a Fire Nation red gown that looked appropriate for a funeral.

"Everyone is looking for you," Katara told him. She wasn't really sure what to say to him.

"Well then let them look," Zuko grumbled. He picked at what looked like a piece of toast. Katara could tell he wasn't in the best of moods.

"I'm not trying to say you should hurry up, but the funeral is at noon and people are already showing up," Katara said as she shifted uncomfortably. She watched him pick at his food again until he gave up in frustration.

"I'm not going," Zuko said bluntly.

Katara was shocked at how he said it. She wasn't surprised though that he didn't want to go. "You're not going to your father's funeral?" she asked him.

Zuko had a look on his face like he was about to take his plate and throw it at the wall. Katara stepped back just in case.

"What's it to you or anyone else if I don't go?" Zuko asked with a tone in his voice that scared her. His eyes told a different story though.

"Well…I was just asking and I got concerned when you weren't with everyone else!" Katara decided to say defensively. Zuko huffed and pushed the tray of food away from him. He passed Katara and stood in the middle of the room with his fists clenched at his sides. She felt bad about snapping but even though they had become friends, they still had heated arguments. Katara waited anxiously for Zuko to say something.

"I can't go," Zuko finally said in a calmer tone. He turned away so Katara couldn't see his face. She walked a few feet closer to him.

"Why not?" Katara asked him and losing her harsh voice also. She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder or do any gesture to comfort him.

"Too be honest, after Aang defeated him and took his bending away I no longer considered him my family. I don't hate him, but I don't necessarily have feelings for him either," Zuko explained. He pushed his long hair out of his face since it was a nervous habit.

"I understand," was all Katara could say at Zuko's words.

He shook his head. "I don't think anyone does," he said quietly. Katara found herself again at a loss for words. It was ironic since usually she was the one to go to for advice besides maybe Iroh. Things had been rough lately and Katara was still trying to deal with a few new changes. Katara thought she heard a sob escape from Zuko which brought her attention back to him. She came over to him and touched his arm. It was strangely awkward but she sucked it up since Zuko was a friend to her.

"I know it's hard, but it's ok to grieve a little bit. He's still your family by blood," Katara said softly. She felt Zuko relax at her touch. His shoulders were still tense so she put both of her hands on them. "It's going to be ok."

Zuko walked back over to his bed without saying a word. He sat down at the end of it hoping Katara couldn't see his face. "It's not like he would care if I went anyway," Zuko finally said as he tried sounding like he was just grumpy. "If you remember, we didn't get along."

"How can I forget?" Katara said as she walked up to him. "And I'm sorry it had to be that way. There are people who love you though. You have a right to grieve over your father's death no matter what happened or what other people think."

Zuko started wiping at his eyes furiously. "I don't understand why I feel like this though!" he angrily said while feeling annoyed at himself. Katara couldn't stand to watch Zuko break down anymore so she took his arms and lowered them. Then she wrapped her arms around him and pressed his head into her shoulder. She gasped when he tightly returned her embrace. Zuko felt like she was the only person besides Iroh that he could cry in front of. He knew she wouldn't mention any of it to her friends.

"Maybe because deep down you really cared for him and expected him to change," Katara told him softly as she played with a strand of his hair. "You don't have to explain yourself and you don't have to go if you don't feel comfortable. It won't change the way I see you or how anyone else sees you."

He kept his arms tightly wrapped around her. "It's like no matter what, I feel awful," Zuko sobbed. Katara sighed and pulled away from him for a moment. He was still upset and felt tear drops hit her arm.

"How else are you supposed to feel? It's normal to go through this," she said in a stern tone. She was mothering him again. Zuko bowed his head and felt Katara pull him closer again. He started crying into her stomach. Katara all of the sudden felt butterflies and remembered something that might cheer him up for now.

"I'm sorry you have to see me this way," Zuko cut her off and cried into her.

"Don't be," Katara said softly as pressed her hand against the side of his head. His hair was soft to the touch and impossible not to caress. She thought of how to put what she had wanted to tell him. "I have news of my own to tell you. It might make you feel better," she started. Zuko released her to look up at her face.

"What is it?" he asked as he tried his eyes with the back of his hand and then used a fancy looking cloth to wipe his face. She sighed and at first Zuko thought she wasn't going to actually tell him.

"I was talking to Aang the other night," Katara told Zuko, "and we were thinking if we ever had a family if you would be our children's godfather." Zuko blinked in surprise.

"Of course," he immediately blurted out. "I would do anything to help Aang and his family." Katara smiled at him and he wondered where exactly she was getting at. Then the thought hit him and the look on his face was priceless. "Are you telling me-?" Katara raised one of her eyebrows and smiled again. Zuko had a blank expression on his face and half of it was from shock. He wasn't expecting anything like this so soon.

"Aang and I haven't told anyone yet, but we are going to start a family," Katara told him with a blush showing up on her face.

"So…you're…?" Zuko was trying to ask but couldn't get the words out.

"Pregnant. Yes," Katara finished for him.

Zuko woke up to someone dipping a cloth in cold water and applying it to his forehead. He had a headache but when he remembered the news Katara had given him he almost sat up. A gentle hand pushed him back down on his pillow.

"I told the others you didn't feel like coming," Katara's voice said. Memories of his father's death came back and the happy feeling inside of him almost completely faded.

"Thank you," Zuko finally said. After that his mind was more at peace.


End file.
